They were late. Again.
My sisters were angry. I was annoyed.
We really shouldn’t have been surprised that my parents didn’t even leave yet for the 35 minute drive when they should have been just pulling into the driveway. It didn’t matter that they were the guests of honor. This is something that we know about them. They are chronically late.
But this was upsetting to my sisters and me.
We were put out. We were affronted.
And then my brother in law said, “We can be mad or we can let it go and enjoy the time we have together while we wait for them to get here.”
We all took a breath and realized he was right. So we changed our tune and enjoyed the time together and didn’t give them the business when they showed up nearly an hour late.
What he left unsaid was that we could choose either reaction for ourselves. This was a choice that we could make: to pivot and adjust our attitudes, or wallow and stew and ruin the time we had together in the meantime and ruin the time when they arrived.
Such a simple statement to help us see the light. My brother in law’s parents have both passed on so that perspective came easily to him. What he wouldn’t give to have his parents arrive late to anything. It’s not worth it to stew in that anger. Life is truly too short.
We get tunnel vision when we have certain expectations. If things don’t go right, we get pissed that other people are being inconsiderate or didn’t think of us.
But if things go wrong, what if we use that as a chance to consider others, to think of them instead of ourselves?
My brother in law helped remind us that we were annoyed, but my parents were just as annoyed that things got in the way of them arriving on time for their own celebration. We could grant them a bit of grace and forgiveness and make everyone’s time be that much better once we were all together.
And that’s exactly what we did. We laughed about it once they arrived instead of spoiling our time together by acting affronted and put out.
Letting it go and laughter is a much better choice.
Reach out if you are tired of having tunnel vision. Someone on the outside will see things so differently than you and a coach will hold you accountable for your choices.