Dusting is a thankless task.
No one is going to say, “Hey, thanks for dusting the sideboard. The absence of dust is remarkable!”
No one thanks you for scheduling teeth cleanings at the dentist. Or well checks at the pediatrician. (The kids certainly won’t be thanking you for that.)
They won’t notice that you went grocery shopping and brought all the bags up yourself and unpacked everything into the cabinets and fridge and drawers.
But they notice when you forget the bananas.
They notice when you lose your cool and yell at them.
But they take it for granted that you make time to snuggle and sing with them at bedtime each night.
Here’s the thing: There are so many things you have to keep in your head and so many of them are as thankless as dusting.
Like… Remembering that there is a permission slip that needs to be turned in or it’s crazy hair day next Friday.
Setting up the lawn service or the pest control or the oil delivery.
Figuring out what to do when your littles are sick.
The list goes on and on.
The weight of the mental load for a primary caregiver is real and it is heavy. Add a job on top of that and you feel like you are being crushed some days.
This invisible workload often gets disregarded and flies under the radar for others. It’s the dusting that never gets noticed unless it’s not done.
How do you combat that without sounding like a complaining, petulant child? “I’m going to list all the things I do! Someone give me a gold star and a freaking lollipop!”
Here’s what works for us in our family: we have cultivated a culture of gratitude in our house over the years. It kind of happened organically.
Whenever I put dinner on the table, even if it is something my kids are making faces at, they say ‘thank you for dinner.’ My husband will say thank you for going to the grocery store. I’ll say thank you for shoveling the driveway. We thank the boys for emptying the dishwasher or taking the recycling out, even if it is expected of them and I just had to remind them or ask them to do it.
Basically, we thank each other for the thankless things.
So I feel appreciated for the things I do, even if they don’t thank me for every thing, every time.
Create a culture of gratitude.
If you’re starting from scratch with gratitude in your home, it might take a minute to get to the point where you feel appreciated, but if you start thanking your people for doing their thankless tasks, I’m willing to bet they will start thanking you for yours.
But I wouldn’t hold your breath for thanks about the sideboard being dust free. That one will always fly under the radar.
If you need some guidance on how to get out from under that crushing weight of the mental load, send me a message. We’ll see if working together might be a good fit. Email me: [email protected]